Returning to AA
In November 2019, after some deliberation, I decided to leave AA and try my hand at moderate drinking. At first, it went great. Until it didn’t.
Posts by Category
- Step 1 6
- Spiritual Practice 6
- Buddhist Recovery 5
- Living Sober 5
- Alcoholics Anonymous 3
- Step 11 3
- Engaged Buddhism 3
- Step 7 3
- Uncategorized 2
- Step 3 2
- Step 2 2
- Step 12 2
- Step 10 1
- Step 6 1
- Tradition 10 1
- Tradition 1 1
- Leaving AA 1
Step 1
How Life Became Unmanageable
Reflections on how life became unmanageable both the first time I came into AA and this most recent time.
Things I’m Powerless Over
I’m powerless over all persons, places and things other than myself.
The 5 Remembrances: A Buddhist Discourse on Powerlessness and Acceptance
Last week, I had an attack of absolute rage. It was a resentment brought on by my failure to realize my powerlessness over people, places and things.
Reflections on Acceptance
It might sound cliche, but in AA you’ll hear the phrase god will do for you what you can’t do for yourself quite often. And that has definitely been my exper...
I’m an Alcoholic
How did I get to this point? Who would have thought, 10 years ago, that I would be here today?
Spiritual Practice
Deer Park Retreat
The biggest takeaway that I have from the Sangha Meeting is that everyone has the same issues that I do. I don’t have to go through my emotional pain alone. ...
The Fourteen Precepts of Engaged Buddhism
The more I study Buddhism, the more I realize I know nothing. I’ve been practicing mindfulness with Open Heart Sangha in San Diego twice per week. They pract...
The 5th Mindfulness Training
While this doesn’t directly relate to AA or Recovery, it definitely is in the same ballpark. And it really resonated with me. Particularly regarding some of ...
The 10 Grave Precepts
My friend and I went to Temple last night. It was a pretty cool place to be on a Friday night. Who would have ever thought I’d be at church on a Friday rathe...
Peace With Every Step
I’ve known about Buddhism since college. But I haven’t been good at practicing. It made me feel spiritual to call myself Buddhist but I wasn’t living the Dha...
Mindfulness
I’ve known since college Buddhist Philosophy class that meditation and mindfulness is the way to go. That meditation is the way to end the suffering. But unt...
Buddhist Recovery
The Fourteen Precepts of Engaged Buddhism
The more I study Buddhism, the more I realize I know nothing. I’ve been practicing mindfulness with Open Heart Sangha in San Diego twice per week. They pract...
No Refuge
I went to Buddhist Recovery Sangha today. I still find the people a little weird. And I don’t necessarily relate to them. I still haven’t talked to anyone. B...
Step Zero
Today marks two weeks sober. And this week I will formally begin Step 1 with my sponsor. For a homework assignment, ask yourself the following questions: (1...
Buddhist Recovery Week 2
To supplement my AA meetings, I’ve been going to the local Buddhist temple to their recovery meetings. This week I arrived on time and sat in the front. But ...
Joining the Great We
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable. For me, I was tired of waking up the next morning, wondering what embarr...
Living Sober
One Year In
To focus on being of service to others. To shift our focus away from what we want. This has been transformational in my recovery.
Help Me Sober Up
I heard this song for the first time yesterday when I was driving home from Joshua Tree. It really struck me as something I can relate to.
Paradigm Shift
This weekend was the first time that I’ve felt happier sober than inebriated. This was my fourth time to Joshua Tree, but by far the most magical. Being with...
Steering Clear of Emotional Entanglements
When our sobriety has a foundation firm enough to withstand stress, then we are ready to work through and straighten out other aspects of our lives.
First date sober
I mentioned in my first post that my catalyst to stop drinking was my 10 year high school reunion. I didn’t elaborate. But let’s just say I was a complete me...
Alcoholics Anonymous
Struggling with God
I’m an Atheist. I don’t doubt the power of God. I don’t believe in God(s). Any of them. My ideas may not have worked, but the idea of a force in the sky that...
The Lord’s Prayer
The AA group I am in is called “Open Minded Mens”. I’d say about half of the group is LGBT. And the majority is non-religious. Visiting a group on the East C...
I’m an Alcoholic
How did I get to this point? Who would have thought, 10 years ago, that I would be here today?
Step 11
A Gatha on Tea
We can be mindful with everything we do. Here is a Gatha that I found from Thich Nhat Hanh in regards to taking a sip of tea.
Deer Park Retreat
The biggest takeaway that I have from the Sangha Meeting is that everyone has the same issues that I do. I don’t have to go through my emotional pain alone. ...
The 10 Grave Precepts
My friend and I went to Temple last night. It was a pretty cool place to be on a Friday night. Who would have ever thought I’d be at church on a Friday rathe...
Engaged Buddhism
A Gatha on Tea
We can be mindful with everything we do. Here is a Gatha that I found from Thich Nhat Hanh in regards to taking a sip of tea.
Call Me by My True Names
This past Tuesday, I went to my usual Sangha meeting of the Open Heart Sangha. And the facilitator decided to talk to us about non-judgment. Specifically avo...
Deer Park Retreat
The biggest takeaway that I have from the Sangha Meeting is that everyone has the same issues that I do. I don’t have to go through my emotional pain alone. ...
Step 7
12 Steps to Humility
Today, I had my monthly meeting with my sponsor to have a philosophical discussion on Step 7. We also talked about a recent resentment of mine. And spiritual...
Let Go of What You Fear Losing
If you want to truly be free, you have to let go of everything you fear losing.
When You Know Better, Do Better
As we grow, we learn new things. We begin to see issues differently than we did before. It’s okay to change our minds and do better. But forgive yourself for...
Uncategorized
The Janitor Bodhisattva
Talking to this guy gave me a tingly feeling. Like I️ really wish I️ was that happy and could take such joy in the mundane. That’s something to work on.
Week 3
Tonight was my third Monday meeting. I really like the guys I’ve started hanging with. Tonight they drug me to Target with them after dinner and it was a lot...
Step 3
Reflections on Co-Dependence
The Thursday meeting that I attend has a unique structure: each week’s leader chooses a topic and 6 readings out of the book As Bill Sees It. This week I led...
God Exists in the Spaces Between Us
As the Trump regime continues to challenge the rule of law, the future of American Democracy itself hangs in the balance. But we must never lose hope. Americ...
Step 2
The Nature of my God
I was browsing Instagram today and I saw the following poem by Rupi Kaur posted by Sophia Bush and it really spoke to me. This is what God is to me too.
Coming to Terms with God: An Atheist’s Journey
God has been a sensitive subject for me since I was a child. I’ve come full circle in my beliefs
Step 12
25 Minute Little Apple Talk
I had the pleasure of speaking for 25 minutes at a speaker meeting that my friend facilitates. I’ve attached my audio recording. I’d love to know what you th...
10 Minute New Year Talk
I had the pleasure of speaking for 10 minutes at a speaker meeting that my friend facilitates. I’ve attached my audio recording. I’d love to know what you th...
Step 10
The 5th Mindfulness Training
While this doesn’t directly relate to AA or Recovery, it definitely is in the same ballpark. And it really resonated with me. Particularly regarding some of ...
Step 6
Have You Given Your Life to God
As an Atheist, all of this god talk is a bit awkward. But I thought this was an interesting topic when it was brought up at my homegroup AA meeting last Mond...
Tradition 10
Self Righteousness
What others do isn’t my business. I need to focus on myself, my own recovery and being of service to others.
Tradition 1
We: The Fellowship of AA
Despite the traditions and steps, not everyone will be your friend, not everyone will like you, not everyone will treat you with respect. But there are many ...
Leaving AA
Leaving Alcoholics Anonymous: An Introduction
The first blog in a series of 10 detailing my decision to leave the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.